How old is too old for boy/girl twins to share a bedroom?

Discussion in 'The Toddler Years(1-3)' started by amelowe9, Dec 1, 2010.

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When is it time for different gendered twins who share a bedroom to separate?

  1. 3-years old

    1 vote(s)
    3.1%
  2. 4--5-years old

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  3. 5-7 years old

    10 vote(s)
    31.3%
  4. It doesn't matter

    21 vote(s)
    65.6%
  5. They should be separated now

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  1. amelowe9

    amelowe9 Well-Known Member

    My boy/girl twins, age 2 1/2, share a bedroom. Their cribs are head-to-head. I love that they are sharing a room at this age. They entertain each other in their cribs before naps and play "together" when they wake up in the morning. Our home is on the smaller side...it's a 3-bedroom but the third room is a guest house outside, so our main house has two bedrooms...thus we have no option but for them to share a room as long as we live here. I love our neighborhood and we have a great elementary school a few blocks away...the way the housing market is, we won't be able to move anytime soon...nor do we have the money to expand or build up at this time.

    I know they are still young and we have time on our side, but I'm looking ahead and wondering when do they become too old to share a room...if they were the same gender, I'd bunk them up (DH is an identical twin and shared a room with his brother growing up)...but they are different genders and at some point I want them to have their own space as a result and also of course to express themselves! Just wanted to get a sense of peoples' opinions on this. Thank you!
     
  2. Fran27

    Fran27 Well-Known Member

    I'm thinking 5-7, but if you don't have the choice, you don't have the choice, and they'll learn to live with it.

    Mine are still in the same room until they ask for their own I think.. they like being together too much for now (my opinion might change when we get rid of the cribs).

    ETA: if the room is big enough, you can try to 'split it' with some room separator and make sure they both have their own space later on.
     
  3. maybell

    maybell Well-Known Member

    I voted 5-7 yrs as well, that's when I "think" I'll be separating, though it's a preconceived idea, so truly who knows when it will happen. I suppose if they really wanted to stay together they could even longer. I haven't really researched, but I am hoping to get through Kindergarten or 1st grade w/them in the same room.
     
  4. BaileyandMarleysMom

    BaileyandMarleysMom Well-Known Member

    I think it depends on the children to some extent. My fraternal twin is a boy and me, him and our older sister (by 6 years) shared one room until she asked my parents for her own room. We had enough space in the house to each have our own rooms, but since I was a bit of a scaredy cat and my brother and I were so close, I ended up sharing/sleeping in his room until we were at least 8 or 9 years old, though I had my own.
     
  5. Meximeli

    Meximeli Well-Known Member

    The idea that children need their own room is very unique to our culture. If you do not have the space for it there is no need to provide children with their own rooms, even if they are different sexes. I know lot of people with several children living in two bedroom homes. They feel lucky to have the second bedroom and not have to all sleep in the same room/living space.
    So don't worry and enjoy your small house! With luck, the economy and or your fincial situation will be much different when they are teens and you can move--if you want to that is.
     
    2 people like this.
  6. Lydia

    Lydia Well-Known Member

    I feel that there is not an age limit on sharing a bedroom with a sibling. I always shared my bedroom, either with my brother until my sister was born or thereafter with my sister, and despite having our own rooms when we got older, we always ended up sleeping in the same bed. To this day, when my sister and I are together, we share a bed. I believe the western civilization has somehow incorporated the idea of separate rooms being necessary for different sexes, but I don't understand why that is ever necessary. Siblings can and should be able to share a room without anyone making it feel awkward. With that being said, I will not be making the masses change their opinions on this and I'll just do what feels right for me in my home. My boy girl twins are going to be sharing their room until they are much older, in a set of bunk beds and with a little room divider between their stuff. Perhaps at some point my feelings will change and I will be separating them but only time will tell...
     
    1 person likes this.
  7. gina_leigh

    gina_leigh Well-Known Member

    I haven't put an age on it. I think they'll let me know when they are ready. And if that's when they are moving out, I'm okay with that too! LOL
     
  8. becasquared

    becasquared Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    I put 5-7 years because that's when I expect them to ask for separate rooms. Until they ask though, they're sharing a room.
     
  9. ldrane

    ldrane Well-Known Member

    I voted 'it doesn't matter'. I think it varies from household and from children. If you have the space and one is uncomfortable sharing a room (asking for his/her own privacy), then that is when they need to be seperated IMO. Until then...I don't think there is a certain age where it has to be done just because they are of the opposite sex. Having said that, I will admit mine have not shared a room since they turned 12 months old. We split them up because of sleep issues and because we could.
     
  10. nateandbrig

    nateandbrig Well-Known Member

    :cry: I had to put mine in different rooms when we transitioned to toddler beds... I'm really hoping that they will share a room again. I voted it doesn't matter, because to me it doesn't. I want them to share a room as long as they want to share a room. Up until a month ago all 3 of my little ones shared a room.
     
  11. Twin nanny

    Twin nanny Well-Known Member

    Ditto this. Naomi and Luke still share a room (they have bunkbeds) and are happy doing so. Neither of them has ever even mentioned wanting their own room.
     
  12. twoplustwo

    twoplustwo Well-Known Member

    Depends on the kids and your situation but I honestly don't think they ever have to be separated.

    We have an 11 y/o dd, 9 y /o boy and 5 y/o b/g twins. The twins were in one room and the older kids in another room.
    We only recently made girl/boy rooms about 6 months ago. My b/g older kids Loved sharing a room and their gender never made a difference for them. I think that is really an adult or cultural hang up (I'm not sure which). My kids still do "sleepovers" in each others rooms. The only reason we switched was because the boys are so messy it is just easier for me to have messy room and one clean room instead of two messy rooms.
     
  13. tinalb

    tinalb Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    With my two, I will probably wait until one or both of them asks for their own room. I don't think there is a hard & fast rule, it just depends on the kids. Right now, L&L love sharing a room.
     
  14. amelowe9

    amelowe9 Well-Known Member

    Thank you all so much for your perspectives. I also believe it's a cultural or adult belief that they *have* to have their own rooms. If we had a the space and they asked for their own rooms at any point I would respect their wishes...but since we don't it's not an option and thankfully they are happy together. Thanks again!
     
  15. Katheros

    Katheros Well-Known Member

    I said 5-7 but I think it would be closer to 5 than 7. I remember sharing a room with my brother, who is 18 months older than me, until we were 7 or 8 and we hated it. There was just too much fighting and picking at each other just to be mean, stuff like that. I think I would just wing it though, keep them together until it became a problem like it was with me and my brother. My mom didn't want to separate us because she wanted her sewing room.
     
  16. moski

    moski Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    Nolan and Meghan will be 6 in February and are still sharing a room. We will probably change things up in the next year or so. We live in a three bedroom house, so I will be putting the boys in one room and she will have her own room.

    I shared with two sisters most of my life. I think I got my own room when I was 22.
     
  17. mhardman

    mhardman Well-Known Member

    I am a firm believer in sharing rooms, it does so much for the kids. My b/g twins share and have bunk beds and lvoe it. We have a 3 bedroom house but the other room will be for the new twins in February. I hope they can share until at least school. We will have to wait and see.
     
  18. Danibell

    Danibell Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    My 8yr old ds and my 4 yr old dd are still sharing a room, and they love it. We do plan to seperate into boy/girl rooms once the twins are old enough for twin beds. Then my two ds's will share a room with a bunkbed, and my two dd's will share a room with a bunkbed. At 4 yrs old I don't think my dd is old enough for the top bunk anyways.

    So, probably in about 2 yrs we'll make the switch :) Until then, my boy/girl older kids have to share a room, and my boy/girl twins have to share a room :)
     
  19. Meximeli

    Meximeli Well-Known Member

    My brother and I were like that and we never shared a room. I suspect that the room was not the problem...
     
  20. MNTwinSquared

    MNTwinSquared Well-Known Member

    WE just seperated our b/g twins but not because of them being opposite genders. They sleep better without the other one in there. They are really not pointing out the differences (physical) between them yet, but we felt it was time. Oh, and did I mention they are sleeping better? It's a personal choice.
     
  21. becasquared

    becasquared Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    I asked my bus driver today and she separated her two when they asked at age 5.
     
  22. AmynTony

    AmynTony Well-Known Member

    we separated ours when they were 3 because we moved into a new house and sleeping (or rather one waking up early and hollering for the other one to get up and play) was starting to be an issue...its funny because ever since they've had their own rooms they have never slept in each others bedrooms...if we are on vacation they will share a bed without an issue but they really do prefer their own space...
     
  23. brookbranplus2

    brookbranplus2 Well-Known Member

    My 9 year old ds and 8 year old dd still share a room. They have not complained yet but I am hoping for them to have their own rooms before they hit puberty.
     
  24. Heathermomof5

    Heathermomof5 Well-Known Member

    My brother and I shared a room until we were in middle school with no problems.
     
  25. Suffmann

    Suffmann Member

    I'd say that it depends on the geography of the room but when they hit their puberty then it's better to part them.
     
  26. WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot Well-Known Member

    The earlier you separate them the better I think. I have a twin sister and I already really longed for living alone when I was 10 or about it.
     
  27. Kessedi

    Kessedi Well-Known Member

    If you can afford to give both of your twins enough space then why not to give them this as soon as it's possible? I mean, it's better to let them live their own lives. They will still communicate, horse around together, play but having their own space is fantastic for them. For instance, we don't have more space for kids and thus they share one room. They have a twin loft bed, separate wardrobes, two desks. But it's not enough for them already. I hope we move soon in order to give them an opportunity to live separately in different rooms.
     
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