sticking up for themselves

today we were at the library, and there are two kiddie computers, and the girls were each at one. two OTHER girls came and sat down next to each of my girls and reached over and took the mouse(s) and started to pick a game to play. my girls just kind of sat there. WTF? so i had to tell the other girls that they can play when [my girls] are done. i notice this with my girls and it frustrates me so much. i'm always telling them that they need to stick up for themselves, and to tell people if they were there first, etc etc... ivana told me the first day of camp some older girls (like 6 or 7) came and kicked her out of the playhouse at the playground. she said she sat under a tree and was sad. i talked to her for like a half hour on how to tell the girls that she was there first and they can play together, or play around her, or wait until she's done in there. i just don't think they're getting it. or care.
how do you teach your kids to stick up for themselves? what has worked for you?

 

Dannielle, this is something I struggle with my two as well. I think Luke is a little better at standing up for himself then Sophia is. But not much better. I've told them that when kids say things to them that they don't like (or is mean) to just say, "I'm not talking to you until you can be nice," and walk away. I've also told them that if kid snatches a toy from them to snatch it back. One time we were waiting for Sophia's therapy appointment and she had brought a doll with her and some little girl took the doll from her. Sophia did not say a word and Luke went right over and told the little girl that it wasn't her doll and to give back to his sister & the little girl's mother realized what happened and made her give the doll back. I was giving the kids a few minutes to see if they could work it out themselves, but Sophia did not say a thing. So I had to talk to her about it but I don't know, or seriously doubt, that she would stick up for herself if I am not around. I try to talk to the kids about their day and the things that happen and when they mention problems, I try to help them come up with solutions on how to handle those things. It's tough though.
Like you, I am open to suggestions.

 

You should try to role play with them and see if you can get them to react to you the way that you want them too. It'll take practice.

 

I would say it's gotten better. Not because my kids will really stick up for themselves with kids they don't know, but because now they have the social acumen to avoid situations and read the situations where it's not going to go well. Among kids they do know, it's just taken time to get better.

Marissa

 

When you find something that works, let me know!! I have had countless conversations with my two on this subject and still no change I think it's just their personality... and I can't push it too much since they probably get it from me. :laughing: Good luck. :hug:

 

At that age, I would teach them to ask an adult to intervene. It may be that they are too shy, or just don't know how to say it. Role play is a good thing to help them figure out what to do.

 

My boys were like your girls when they were little. When someone took their toys away, they would just walk away or just stand there looking sad. It used to frustrate me and I soooo wanted to step in and stand up for them! But as they got older and more confident about their verbal skills, they learned to say "No" or get help from other adults. Actually, you should be glad they are not the type of kids who retaliate physically or are the ones who are doing the taking. I think those issues are harder to deal with as they get older.